LoveIan

Sacha Baron Cohen's gay Austrian character "Bruno" sits on Eminem's face

This is hilarious. Eminem, the notoriously homophobic lily-white American rapper, just had Sacha Baron Cohen's are ass lowered onto his face at an awards show.

He did not look happy. Maybe it was planned, maybe it wasn't. But it's hilarious - it's exactly what Eminem deserves. I had to watch it a few times.

Obviously a publicity stunt for his upcoming movie Bruno (coming out July 10).

Embedding is disabled, but the trailer is here.

Looks pretty funny.

Craig Ferguson, Puppets do Britney Spears

I have to post this because this is likely the best American television moment that has ever occurred between 12:00am and 4:00pm.

Just this performance alone deserves and Emmy or Golden Globe or whatever awards they give to TV shows.

 

(The new YouTube formats don't always fit that well into this blog format, so you may just want to go here)

I thought it was amazing though - I've watched it three times already. If you don't enjoy it, you're probably dead inside.

I'll post another thing that I love. It's in the first 20 seconds - but I'd suggest watching more.

(Or here)

Yeah. Legend. It's one of the only shows worth turning on a TV for. And Gossip Girl - it's all about the GG and the CF.

Piggy [Swine (H1N1)] Flu: Be afraid! (Maybe).

I love things like this. They amuse me on so many levels.

First, is the absolute panic that people get in over this. The media and the government tend to get cautious (or, alarmist, if that's the word you would like to use). But to be fair they are in a terrible conundrum. If they don't raise the alarm people will be furious that the government hasn't done enough. If there is action taken, and nothing comes of it then it's an over-reaction and it's panic-mongering, and it's horrible. I love reading letters to the editor, because everyone is always OUTRAGED! It doesn't matter which side they're on, there are always so many outraged, angry people. People don't get it. There are so many people that just can't chill. People who don't realize that it doesn't matter who you're angry at - which little issue you are angry at the government about, death is still going to happen.

Gutted.

It goes beyond that though - the politics get so much more exciting. THE PIG FARMERS. I love this - I understand how the piggy farmers feel, but I still think it's funny. Initially it gets picked up as swine flu - so people all of a sudden get scared of pigs. A Muslim country kill hundreds of thousands of pigs. Pork sales PLUMMET! Everyone is afraid of pigs. So the swine lobby rears its snout, and interferes to government. In the meantime, Steven Harper [Canadian Prime Minsters] tries to remove any undue prejudice against pigs and calls it 'Mexican Flu.'

THEN, the Mexican ambassador makes public statements condemning this, the pig farmers condemn the other naming, public relations nightmare go all around making ambassadors and farmers wake up in cold sweats about jargon and catchphrases, and they all lobby governments and assail media associations to have this "epidemic"  renamed.

Eventually "H1N1" is a term that is generally accepted [grammarians and numericists everywhere are outraged - but their lobby is not strong enough].

And thus we have a new name for a strain of flu that has killed HUNDRED of people (while the regular flu has killed hundreds of thousands already this year, in North America alone).

And this is the process of disease semanticism.

It's hard not to love this world.

Miss [Insert geographic region] scandal.

A beauty pageant (see "scholarship program") contest recently condemned gay marriage.

Honestly, I haven't been too bothered, but I just heard the best statement about this:

"She's not an arbiter of social justice, her main skill is looking good in a bikini!" (Craig Ferguson). But it's true. I know we can criticise "public" figures for the opinions they express, but I would actually rather advocate her right to say it than criticise what she says. Actually I'd like to do both, but whatever.

Let her say it - criticize the opinions, use it for a conversation topic, but don't question her right to say it. Because she can and she should be able to. The fact that her nipples have become a bigger (heh) story than her social views speaks for itself. On a few levels.

I don't want to go on about this, because it's not a particularly interesting issue. Except for the attitudes that seem to come out of this. But:

"She's not an arbiter of social justice, her main skill is looking good in a bikini!"

So don't worry. She can say what she wants - and so can you*.

*See government restrictions

Angels in Christian mythology: Because just one imaginary friend isn't enough.

I accidently stumbled across this book after doing some googles:

"Angels (and demons): what do we really know about them" (by Peter Kreeft). I read a bit, for a laugh because the title caught my interest. But I had trouble understanding how some people actually believe this - and by the circular logic and ridiculous conclusions that are drawn. I've been reading alot of academic journals and research papers lately (honours research project - funtimes) and after reading parts of this book I found it laughable.

The guy asserts the study of angels (aptly named angelology) is a science like any other, but that it's a science that also requires faith. So you have to BELIEVE. Maybe if I clap my hands and truly believe I can grow up to study faeries - or heffalumps and woozles.

Kreeft suggests that people are more suspicious of angelology than natural sciences are because it deals with the supernatural. Um, yes. The claim is that these are beings of god (completely invisible obviously - like all imaginary friends) and that every human that is alive or has ever lived has his own angel. And here is an example of what he calls deduction [which anyone who has any knowledge of the scientific method can get a good laugh about this]:

"If any one of the points of this theory were false, the data would be different. For instance, if angels could not assume bodies, they could not eat. However in Scripture they do on occasion eat (see Gen 19:3); therefore they can assume bodies."

AHA! Genius. See how convincing his logic is. The bible said A; B requires A; and B should mean C. Therefore C is unquestionably true.

Oh and by the way, there are angels everywhere. Always - there is an angel with you right now apparently. Basically the monotheistic Stasi. Imaginary, but just as intrusive - they even get involved in politics!

The book answers all the questions you could possible have about angels - seriously one heading is, "Are angels involved in politics?" The answer is a resounding yes, by the way.

Another question/heading: "What do angels do all day? Don't they get bored?

I love the implications of this! 

Why talk about religion

I've become more and more interested in religion lately (I always have been quite interested in it).

I really like to argue about it. I have no desire to argue with the religious right now, anymore than I would wish to go to elementary schools and argue about the existence of Santa Clause. I actually enjoy religion because I find so many of the claims made by the religious so ridiculous. When I imagine some of the claims, they just play out in my head so nicely.

For example, from a Mesopotamian myth (I'll use this term to protect myself from Google-savvy fanatics) suggests that a particular prophet (he-who-must-not-be-named for teddy bears) took a flying horse from Jerusalem to Mecca (round trip, I think it was). I like to think of that, but in the world today. Since that would not be a very high traveled route, I can almost imagine Flying Horse Airlines canceling the trip (after repeated cutbacks), and a solemn press release. Perhaps some editorial.

I love modernized versions of religion. One of my favourite 'translations' of the Bible is the 'lolcat Bible'. Here's a quote I love:

"13 Den Jebus caem from Gallalee, to has baptizm from John14 But John was all "Ur doin it rong, j00 needz to baptize me"

15 And Jebus answered sayin "STFU and baptize me n00b" and John did. (Mat 3:13-15)

One of the reasons I like it so much is because continual translations from Aramaic and ancient Greek and back again and back and forth between other language, settling on mangled revisions and modernized interpretations, that's probably about the condition the Bible that most of the Christians worship is in.

A mess

Lipstick Jungle Season 2: Collagen-Injected...

I watched the first season of Lipstick Jungle last year (along with Cashmere Mafia) during a multi-day hangover last year. I enjoyed it, but didn't love it: probably because it's not really directed at my demographic.

It was some good light TV - watching it now I think that's all it still is. Good, but not amazing. There are definitely some funny bits, but it seems to be a bit heavy on the histrionic drama at times.

There was one part in the Season 2 Season Premiere that really made me laugh.

Don't read on if you don't want to know

Post from Britain - Naughty Schoolgirls!

St. Trinian's.

Sorry, this isn't going to a sexual post objectifying youths. Not today anyway (although who knows what the future will bring!) If that disappoints you, I'm sure a quick google search will find a variety of far more sordid things than my blog.

I'm excited because today, I just received the movie St. Trinian's. It is honestly one of the funniest (if not THE funniest) movies I have ever seen. It wasn't released in North America so I had to go through a bit of an ordeal to get it. I ordered it on amazon.co.uk, to a friend's address; after he got it, he posted it to me. The whole process ended up taking nearly a month. BUT I HAVE IT!

Here's the trailer:

Rupert Everett alone makes the movie. Russell Brand is pretty good in it too (who I love). There ends up being this amazing sexual tension between Rupert Everett and Colin Firth too. It's generally hilarious, and the music is even better.

The theme is done by Girls Aloud:

Funny News: A Few of my Picks

I love this one:

1.
"Illinois priest accused of dealing coke from rectory." Source
It sounds quite like a euphemism. I just love that word rectory.

It gets better though! Not only was this priest dealing cocaine from his 'rectory,' it was on the University of Illinois campus!

The Reverend Christopher Layden pleaded not guilty Thursday to two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church.

There's another thing that strikes me about this -- his conviction for dealing actually included the specification 'near a church.' Apparently it's not just bad that a reverend is selling cocaine to students -- but the sentence actually specifies 'near a church'. Wow.

2. A great one from Australia:

"Politician quits over underwear 'dirty dance'" Source

Okay that's another one with a slightly misleading title -- did he resign over a skidmark? Perhaps 'underwear dirty dance' is the wrong combination of words. The actual story is even better though:

CANBERRA, Australia - The police minister in Australia's most populous state was forced to quit Thursday over reports he "dirty danced" in underwear over the chest of a female colleague in a drunken late-night office party.

That's hilarious! And fantastic, why would he quit over that -- who hasn't got a bit out of hand at a party at once time or another and ended up dancing in their underwear. So what if it was over a female colleagues chest? As long as it was consensual... although I guess it isn't the most dignified behaviour.

It's even better -- he had only been in the position (the position of police minister, not dirty dancing, underwear colleague straddling-position -- because THAT would be impressive) for three days! I guess that's one way to introduce yourself to your new co-workers.

His comments on resigning:

"I'm a human being and I made a mistake and I am going to cop the consequences," Brown told reporters. "I am not wanting to duck or weave this issue. As you can imagine this is a pretty tough day for me."

'Cop the consequences'? from the police minister? This is no time for bad puns sir! I can definitely sympathize that it's 'a pretty tough day for him.' I bet the hangover is brutal.

Featured on Poundland Blog - I'm not entirely sure why...

So, I would first like to thank all of the lovely people at Poundland for taking an interest in me, I just realized they love me enough to mention me in their blog.

(poundlandblog.co.uk)

Oh I'm not actually being paid to say this by the way (if you're reading this -- call me Poundland!) I was pretty surprised, since I noticed I was getting people coming from them -- so I noticed that they linked to me. The little caption says:

Its that time of year again, where students are packing their bags and moving away to University!

.
It can be a stressful time…especially as there is so much to buy! Ian attends Cardiff and has been juggling uni coursework, working part time to fund extra activities and writing a book. What Ian needs to do, like all other students, is pop to his local Poundland store for his student living essentials! With everything priced at just £1 – you can save a packet!

Unfortunately they haven't got it completely right -- I don't attend Cardiff University anymore (praise Jesus, Allah, Yaweh, Siva, Thor and all you guys). I can't exactly go to my 'local poundland' anymore either -- since I don't live in the UK anymore (but will change that as soon as I possibly can!)

I have to say I've never actually been to a poundland, although it sounds like a mystical place. I think its here:

This is a rough map, but I think it's fairly accurate.