LoveIan

Best ways to beat a hangover.

I've heard many people say "the best way to beat a hangover is not to drink".

Those people are boring.

I've heard other people suggest that the only cure for a hangover is time.

Those people just aren't trying hard enough.

None of the "eat 5 strawberries" or "drink milk with cayenne pepper and cod seamen" ideas work.

If you plan to drink seriously, you have to be proactive. The best way to avoid a hangover is to drink strategically!

1) Avoid drinking anything with too much sugar. Liqueurs, wine, fruity drinks and mixed drinks will not be your friend in the morning (if you plan to drink lots). It may make your drink taste a bit better, but remember sugar is not your friend. If you're going to have drinks with sugar to mask the taste of alcohol, choose something with a strong taste and don't mix too much in. Try half juice, half soda water. Do shots instead of mixed drinks.

2) Water IS your best friend. Water will help you in the morning, but if you drink lots of water the night before, you will be happy you did the next morning. Try drink a few big glasses of water before you go out. Try having a glass of water for every couple units of alcohol. The best way is to mix water with your drinks. I like to mix club soda with spirits, sometimes with a little bit of lemon or lime juice (minimize sugar!)

3) Avoid cheap drinks. This rule is less important, but can still be something to think about. Impurities in the alcohol can make your hangover worse. It also depends what you're drinking. Cheap red wine can be much worse than cheap vodka. Sugar^cheap alcohol leads to serious bad times.

4) Once you've passed the point of being able to follow rules 1 -3, there is less you can do. Sleep is now your best friend. Sleep and water.

Remember (try to remember)! Drink proactively.

How to argue/fight/disagree online (and WIN).

This is more, shameless cross-promotion.

This article has actually been posted on my other blog.

I'm focusing on a few important points to win an argument - including how/who/what to think of, and how to go about arguing.

It's HERE.

Yeah, cheers, thanks alot.

Shameless self-promotion and blog integration

Make sure you check out my other blog here.

I've just posted an entry that is a fantastic piece of writing, and there will be another up in a few days. Happy times. 

iPad = Fail

I'm a bit reluctant to say this, since I was really excited for the iPad, but I think Apple's new toy completely missed the mark. I think it may be successful, since it's a novelty and many people will likely want to have one to play with but it has one huge flaw: it's useless.

I've alway known Apple (and used it) because they tend to be way ahead when it comes to making productivity devices. Apple computers are easier to use, require less maintenance and are generally great for work, school, travel and everything I need. When the iTouch came out, that was great too - mobile internet in a good browser (that doesn't need a phone contract), an app that lets it be used as a Kindle, etc.

Unfortunately, it looks like the iPad is just a large iPod. You can surf the web, download music, movies, apps and books. Which is great if you have a trickle of money burning a hole in your pocket that you would like to give Apple. But, there aren't many great features of the iPad that don't require constantly spending money at Apple stores. And the features basically include: entertainment. Great for people who have too much time, extra money, and aren't able to entertain themselves.

I'm disappointed because I was hoping for some sort of hybrid, that would let me do everything (or everything useful) a computer could do, on a tablet. Unfortunately it looks like, the tablet doesn't have most of the features that are actually USEFUL on my computer. All it is, is a huge iPod - which kind of defeats the whole purpose of an iPod, when you make it the size of an 80s phone.

I'm sure it's fun to be able to surf the internet and scroll with your fingers instead of a mouse on a large screen, but to be honest I don't really care about that.

To be fair to Apple, I love my Macbook and I still think it's fantastic. They probably don't want to come p with something that would be in direct competition with their own products. So, they've come up with something that is pointless. 

There are times that just call for a video. I don't even know what it is, but sometimes two completely different things just collide in my mind, and they work out perfectly and I just have to put them together.

If you're not familiar with British TV you might not get it, but you might still enjoy it. It's just a quickie.

I just had a very strange thing happen to me. It combines all the stupidity of people who dial wrong numbers AND the stupidity of automated phone computers.

First, I don't mind the computers that tell you to 'press 1' if it's only a few numbers. But those voice ones that don't understand, are just frustrating.
Second, I can never understand why, when people call the wrong number they ask things like 'Who IS this?' like you've inconvenienced them terribly but not being the right person. Then come the other stupid questions like, 'is Ethel there'? (NO I've already told you this is the wrong number, clearly Ethel will not be here), 'do you know where I could reach Ethel'? (Uh... no), or my favourite, 'could you check?' - as if I may just find Ethel hiding in one of my cupboards.

But what just happened tops all of those.

I just got a voicemail, from a computerised voice saying, "You have chosen an invalid response option, please try again."

Um - no.

I have decided (rather modestly) to take it upon myself to begin the codification of the Modern English language.

I've just heard too much of the aged class (and a few other annoying individuals) who whine about the destruction or bastardisation of the English language. Of course the accused tend to be: A) KIDS TODAY; and B) The interwebs. This does my head in when people talk about this, because they don't seem to realise that the form the speak would be completely ridiculous to the English people before them spoke, and is beginning to sound more ridiculous now. Language evolves with society, and if you are moaning about the state of language today you are just a silly Albertasaurus wailing incomprehensibly in the face of an oncoming [insert apocalyptic disaster of your choice] asteroid.
So, I am going to be the provisional reconstructor of Modern English.

Of course, technically 'Modern English' is already defined. Wikipedia, the encyclopaedia of misnomers, begins to tell us that Modern English is:

"the form of the English language spoken since the Great Vowel Shift in England, completed in roughly 1550."

There's a few reasons I don't like that. First, the 'Great Vowel Shift' sounds like something that would happen after eating a spoilt curry. I bet it was completed roughly. Second, that would mean modern English isn't actually very modern. Now, this means that we have to describe what we are speaking now as something other than Modern English, which pisses me off because if what I'm speaking [typing] now is not Modern English, and if I want to define what I'm speaking [typing] now, then I have to make up a new name for it.

Like modern literature - for some reason, in the 40s, literature became modern. Then, in the constant one-up-personship of academics, the newly literate intelligencia had to create post-modern literature, and add a prefix just to prove that they were doing something new. Unfortunately post-modern literature tends to be defined by being meaningless, pointless, and based on individual interpretation. Which basically means there is no crap - what you read is just a reflection of your thought processes. Which is a great excuse for people to write crap.

(And I don't mean to sound so harsh, because we now know that we evolved with pigs, from a common ancestor, so there is no shame in rolling around in the literary filth of one's own species anymore - in fact, it's natural and encouraged!)

But my point is, I don't want to wholly redefine what 'Modern English' is to describe it. I can't call it post-modern English, and I don't want to describe it by adding loads of extra words. The other option is to think of some cute, punny word. Perhaps E-volutionary English, to describe the transformations of the modern English language that have resulted from internet technology. But, if I did that I would risk sounding like a trite twat.

So I'll be going with Mod English. I think it fits perfectly for a number of reasons. Maybe I'll describe them more fully later - but I've deviated from my important point enough (for now).

The plan is not to reinvent language, because for all the changes that the internet has precipitated for language the general structure the same. The meaning of punctuation, and the construction of a sentence is no different - but new methods of communicating, like email, Facebook and Twitter mean that how language is used, and the 'words' used are -- interesting. And it's very important to stress that just because a new word, or meaningful unit (morpheme) is NEW doesn't mean it's wrong.

If you don't know your lol from you wtf, that doesn't mean it's some horrible destruction of language, it means that you haven't been keeping up with language or culture. But don't worry - because you CAN! And if you've been ending your emails with a "LOL", sincerely trying to virtually send "Lots of love", then I will be the one too bluntly tell you that you've been an absolute fool. You haven been concluding your emails by conveying amusement. Your LOL actually means something like "Laugh out loud", or maybe "Lots of laughs". To be honest it doesn't even matter anymore, because LOL/lol is just an expression of amusement. Lol is 'hahaha'.

So if you've been signing emails with a lol, you have either been continually self deprecating, or mercilessly mocking. And, I've received some of these emails - don't worry, I was forgiving, since they have all been from the aged class. I am nothing but forgiving when it comes to these simple folk.
AND THIS IS WHY it's important that I write this! Some parts of Mod English tend to be constant - lol is now firmly entrenched - but others are transitory. New words, and word forms, are constantly appearing but most quickly disappear. So which are safe for polite society? Which are appropriate for impolite society? Which can we hope to use for a long time, and what should we be conscious of? What is the difference between lol and LOL? What is the appropriate form for beginning an email? How much proper grammar is necessary in a Facebook status? How much 'proper' English can be omitted when you're being a twat and twittering? How can regular punctuation be reconstructed to convey emotion :)?
That's what THIS is about. Covering specific subjects (like particular acronyms), and general areas (email etiquette). Everything. As much as I can get to - and as this is a blog, and I'm not dead yet, there is always more time!

I would also like some feedback on this - comments/criticisms/questions about individual topics - ideas for important areas to cover, then please comment! That's part of what Mod English is - it's made by communication, not dictionaries.

I'm going to put everything related to this HERE, so it's all in once place - and once I get more done on it I'll work on some more thorough organisation later. But I'll post everything here too (unless otherwise specified).

Aha! Typepad has recently updated to make my blogging life much easier - especially short posts.

I've also set it to my homepage, so I'm reminded to update!

I've hardly been updating recently, because I've been too caught up in my life to remember to write about it.

I have a plan though - sort of like a New Years resolution, which I'll write about later tonight when I get home. I think part of the reason I haven't been blogging is because I have no direction. So I have a new direction now, and it's excellent.

And here's another movie I did recently. It's completely pointless, silly and ironic. Which is my favourite type of movie.

Have been going through pictures and videos on Facebook - here's one from Spain that I quite like - will be uploading another from Spain soon(ish)

Disconnected

I've been in Wales for a week now, and I made the decision not to get internet in my flat. I don't know if it'll last for the whole summer, but I kind of like it.

I have a great flat in Cardiff Bay, with a park on one side, and the river on the other, the flat is gorgeous and in an amazing location, in an area where EVERYONE'S network is protected. So it feels a little strange not to be able to check my email/facebook/etc. constantly, but at the same time I really like it. And I've been so busy it hasn't driven me crazy - I've actually barely noticed.

Must get pictures up though.

I haven't even used my camera yet - and I've been here for a week. Wow

But I'm going to Spain tomorrow, going to be in an isolated villa for over a week - not really doing anything except relaxing and by the pool and with Sangria - so it'll be interesting to see how that goes. I'm looking forward to it.